Half shafted with no strap on

Our sharp eyed readers may have problems scratching their contact lenses. They might also have noticed in yesterday's update that there was in fact, no update yesterday. Well done. There was a technical reason for this - I went out last night and got back late and in the meantime managed to miss Ian's evening phone call, the one in which he would have told me about Day 2 in the dunes. So there you have it - even Phantom Bloggers have nights off..

Excellent photo stolen from Craig McAteer. Don't tell him.

So this morning I made a call to Newtrix Racing's Technical Director. Some say that the reflections from his head are visible in space. Or that his hand crocheted parachutes are a thing of great beauty - and an even greater insurance risk. We just know he's - "The Rick". The Rick informed me that Day 2 went, not so much from bad to worse, more from broken to buggered. Yesterday's mechanical casualties included a half shaft, two drag links and a suspension restraining strap. For the non technically minded, I shall attempt to explain the function of these items.


A half shaft is like a shaft, but shorter. About 50% shorter. Trouble is, our half shaft suffered a further sub-division and ended up as two 1/4 shafts. And anyone whose ever suffered a quarter shaft will understand how much such a thing would slow you down in the desert. So imagine having two of them hanging off your diff. Exactly.

A Half Shaft. Completely shafted.

Drag links have proven very popular in some of the camper parts of Scotland, where golf, particularly golf involving the wearing of one silk glove and ridiculous clothing (so that's ALL golf then?) is involved. Basically it's a course close to the sea, on which women are not allowed to play, so the men mince around offering to 'play a round in a foursome". All seems rather unseemly to me, but I guess it gets lonely on a cold winter's night in Dundee.

And a restraining strap is an S&M device. (Sadism & Masochism / Suspension and Movement - you pays your money and you takes your choice) One is used to stop your rear axle from dangling too far, whilst the other is. Well it's. Sort of the opposite really. So I hope that's cleared up all those confusing oily bit explanations. Good.

Consequently Mr & Mrs. B only made it around about half of yesterday's route, before calling it a day and taking up stamp collecting ("Have you seen any PCs philately?"). Having driven back to the bivvy with only three half shafts and without a strap on, they retired to the bar and told Rick and Richard to "get on with fixing it you oiks". Which is a bit rude and entirely untrue. So Rick and Richard beavered away, whilst Kate badgered the canteen staff and Jason made sure everything was properly secured with the budgie cords. By 1am their work was complete, so they dragged Ian and Sheila out of the bar, made them some hot chocolate (could happen - I believe in miracles) and everybody had a nap.

This morning they got up, Sheila had a shower, Ian had a shave, and thankfully Rick, Jason, Richard and Kate left early.  Then the Dogs hit the dunes, the pedal hit the metal, there was dust everywhere, much excitement, occasional rude words, more stamps were collected, competitors were hunted down and taunted, water was drunk, there were more rude words, brows were furrowed, Rick was confused, Richard fixed a fire engine, Kate coloured in two more Unicorns, and Jason wondered what the hell he was doing here.

And that ladies and gentlemen, was our famous TV interviewer called Robin, in a kernel. (Our Day in a nut shell.)

 Ian and Sheila will start Day 4 in 30th position.

It was all going so well....

The Dog's two Dicks, Bailey and Carless, worked like dogs last night, at one point losing their bearings, but that was OK because those bearings were worn out anyway, replacing them with the bearings from the pulley delivered by UPS (Unscheduled Phantom Sortie) to Kate Adie (she says she's Kate Steadman but I've seen her on the telly, I know she's Kate Adie).

Kate and I met in the middle of the desert last night at a truck stop next to a giant pyramid, a Series 3 Land Rover that's big enough to have a restaurant inside, and the world's largest globe on a trailer. No, I know it makes no sense but this is the UAE. Look up "Rainbow Sheikh Museum" and you'll see that for once, my nonsense happens to be the truth!

I gave Kate my pulley (fnarr, fnaar) and she gave me a can of Diet Coke and the rest, they say, is histrionics. Rick sent me a rude message saying I didn't know my pulleys from my elbow, but he used the bearings anyway so ner ner ner ner ner Rick.

This morning Ian and Sheila were going great guns, with no stucks and no delays - so something was BOUND to go wrong!

And it did - right now we are trying to recover the car from desert where it is resting on its roof, after a roll. Not a cheese roll, a sand roll. Ian and Sheila are OK though. More info when I have it....

UPDATE at 2am....



No, I have no idea why he was only wearing a T shirt when it was clearly snowing



The battery's flat. So's the roof.



Clean your windscreen Sir?

Well I'm just home after driving down to the bivouac and back, to deliver a large sheet of plexiglass by DHL (Dubai, Hellishlyfast, Liwa) in the hopes that it could be used as a temporary windscreen but..... having seen the damage to the car, it's going to need a lot more than a temporary windscreen fitted tonight.

As I left at around 10.45pm an FIA inspector was coming over to look at the damage. At this stage I don't know if Ian and Sheila can continue to race. If the inspectors deem the car unsafe, they will not be allowed to do so. More news when I have it.

 

A race of attrition

You'll have to excuse my current lack of humour but just a couple of hours into the race, a very short distance before PC2, the engine blew up in Ian and Sheila's car, so their race is over. Some marshals from the PC tried to tow start the car but this resulted in an even bigger bang under the bonnet and something punching its way through the sump. Thus the engine drain was drained of oil, so there is no hope of rebuilding it and Ian and Sheila have been forced to retire from the race.

They have decided to stay down at the bivouac and help out at the race, since a) they've paid for it! b) Rick and Offshore Ian have given up their time to be there this week, c) the (real) dogs are in kennels which is all paid for, and d) as I write, the Al Thika offices are being torn down and rebuilt around me (we have ongoing construction here) so the bivouac is a lot more peaceful ;-)

So it's official. Ian and Sheila are piston broke.

Here's a photo from happier times (yesterday) taken by our old friend Craig McAteer who is visiting from the UK to support Team Saluki. Craig uses Canon cameras like me, but his memory cards all worked yesterday! Thanks Craig for this really great shot.

In other news, Mark Powell, Team Saluki, has blown a gearbox and is retired for the day but will almost certainly restart tomorrow, whilst Dave Mabbs and Xavier Caminada, Team FJ, are having some sort of engine problems in the FJ Cruiser. Their current status is unknown but "it doesn't look good".

UPDATE: Saluki's problem was not a gearbox, it was a blown engine. After 3kms!! And the engine was brand new. Dave Mabbs is definitely out. Other local competitors Mike Zeigler and Mansour Bilhilli are also out with....blown engines. Now I'm not a particularly suspicious person by nature but five local teams, all with blown engines, all within the first half of the first day. Quite a coincidence don't you think? Who knows...


As yet the floods, pestilence, locusts and earthquakes have yet to strike, but it is only Day One........

"Go Go Tommy"