As the Abu Dhabi Desert Challenge approaches, we at NewTrix Racing desperately try to prepare ourselves for the major event of the year. Our joy at having Richard Bailey on the team was sadly short-lived – his boss reneged on his agreement to allow Richard to take time off for the DC and sent him to Norway instead. Fortunately, we have found an excellent replacement in Ian Simpson. He naively attended a meeting which Sheila arranged on the pretext of recruiting marshals for the Abu Dhabi F1, and I shanghaied him into our team for the DC with promises of travel, adventure, excitement and sand. But mostly sand.
One of the prep jobs is to sort out the Eezi-Up awning. Of course it’s not a real Eezi-Up because they cost an arm and a leg, although they do last for ever because they are made of Real Metal. This is a Carrefour special, one of two which we bought about three years ago, and it’s made in China. That pretty much tells you all you need to know about its build quality, China being the undisputed world leader in the manufacture of tat.
However, it has survived three outings at the DC, due to an ongoing programme of annual repairs and upgrades. The other one bit the dust the first year, but its passing has provided a comprehensive kit of spare parts to keep this one going. It has over the years benefited from progressive replacement of its feeble aluminium rivets with bolts and locknuts, and now boasts three-stage legs, giving it sufficient height to straddle the race car. However, its basic construction of lightweight monkey-metal means that the first breath of wind is likely to see a bundle of blue sheeting and mangled aluminium heading for the horizon.
Which begs the question – don’t they have weather in China? Are they completely unfamiliar with the concept of wind? Why, when they could make a substantial replica of a Eezi-Up for maybe half the price of the real deal, do they insist on making tat for 5% of the price? I guess that’s because idiots like me buy them.
Anyway, another year of repair and upgrade has made it battle-ready for the 2012 DC. Let’s just hope we don’t have any weather this year.
These are the voyages of the starship 'Newtrix'. Its multi-year mission: to compete in any rally within striking distance of Dubai, and to acquire shiny trophies. To boldly go wherever this quest may take us, as long as we can be home in time for tea.
1 comment:
“The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.” So said Aldo Gucci, or possibly Benjamin Franklin.
But while people continue to demand crap purely on the basis that it's cheap, there'll be some enterprising entrepreneur (is there any other sort?) who'll supply it.
Good luck for a weatherless DC.
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