Our sharp eyed readers may have problems scratching their contact lenses. They might also have noticed in yesterday's update that there was in fact, no update yesterday. Well done. There was a technical reason for this - I went out last night and got back late and in the meantime managed to miss Ian's evening phone call, the one in which he would have told me about Day 2 in the dunes. So there you have it - even Phantom Bloggers have nights off..
So this morning I made a call to Newtrix Racing's Technical Director. Some say that the reflections from his head are visible in space. Or that his hand crocheted parachutes are a thing of great beauty - and an even greater insurance risk. We just know he's - "The Rick". The Rick informed me that Day 2 went, not so much from bad to worse, more from broken to buggered. Yesterday's mechanical casualties included a half shaft, two drag links and a suspension restraining strap. For the non technically minded, I shall attempt to explain the function of these items.
A half shaft is like a shaft, but shorter. About 50% shorter. Trouble is, our half shaft suffered a further sub-division and ended up as two 1/4 shafts. And anyone whose ever suffered a quarter shaft will understand how much such a thing would slow you down in the desert. So imagine having two of them hanging off your diff. Exactly.
Drag links have proven very popular in some of the camper parts of Scotland, where golf, particularly golf involving the wearing of one silk glove and ridiculous clothing (so that's ALL golf then?) is involved. Basically it's a course close to the sea, on which women are not allowed to play, so the men mince around offering to 'play a round in a foursome". All seems rather unseemly to me, but I guess it gets lonely on a cold winter's night in Dundee.
And a restraining strap is an S&M device. (Sadism & Masochism / Suspension and Movement - you pays your money and you takes your choice) One is used to stop your rear axle from dangling too far, whilst the other is. Well it's. Sort of the opposite really. So I hope that's cleared up all those confusing oily bit explanations. Good.
Consequently Mr & Mrs. B only made it around about half of yesterday's route, before calling it a day and taking up stamp collecting ("Have you seen any PCs philately?"). Having driven back to the bivvy with only three half shafts and without a strap on, they retired to the bar and told Rick and Richard to "get on with fixing it you oiks". Which is a bit rude and entirely untrue. So Rick and Richard beavered away, whilst Kate badgered the canteen staff and Jason made sure everything was properly secured with the budgie cords. By 1am their work was complete, so they dragged Ian and Sheila out of the bar, made them some hot chocolate (could happen - I believe in miracles) and everybody had a nap.
This morning they got up, Sheila had a shower, Ian had a shave, and thankfully Rick, Jason, Richard and Kate left early. Then the Dogs hit the dunes, the pedal hit the metal, there was dust everywhere, much excitement, occasional rude words, more stamps were collected, competitors were hunted down and taunted, water was drunk, there were more rude words, brows were furrowed, Rick was confused, Richard fixed a fire engine, Kate coloured in two more Unicorns, and Jason wondered what the hell he was doing here.
And that ladies and gentlemen, was our famous TV interviewer called Robin, in a kernel. (Our Day in a nut shell.)
Ian and Sheila will start Day 4 in 30th position.
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| Excellent photo stolen from Craig McAteer. Don't tell him. |
A half shaft is like a shaft, but shorter. About 50% shorter. Trouble is, our half shaft suffered a further sub-division and ended up as two 1/4 shafts. And anyone whose ever suffered a quarter shaft will understand how much such a thing would slow you down in the desert. So imagine having two of them hanging off your diff. Exactly.
 |
| A Half Shaft. Completely shafted. |
And a restraining strap is an S&M device. (Sadism & Masochism / Suspension and Movement - you pays your money and you takes your choice) One is used to stop your rear axle from dangling too far, whilst the other is. Well it's. Sort of the opposite really. So I hope that's cleared up all those confusing oily bit explanations. Good.
Consequently Mr & Mrs. B only made it around about half of yesterday's route, before calling it a day and taking up stamp collecting ("Have you seen any PCs philately?"). Having driven back to the bivvy with only three half shafts and without a strap on, they retired to the bar and told Rick and Richard to "get on with fixing it you oiks". Which is a bit rude and entirely untrue. So Rick and Richard beavered away, whilst Kate badgered the canteen staff and Jason made sure everything was properly secured with the budgie cords. By 1am their work was complete, so they dragged Ian and Sheila out of the bar, made them some hot chocolate (could happen - I believe in miracles) and everybody had a nap.
This morning they got up, Sheila had a shower, Ian had a shave, and thankfully Rick, Jason, Richard and Kate left early. Then the Dogs hit the dunes, the pedal hit the metal, there was dust everywhere, much excitement, occasional rude words, more stamps were collected, competitors were hunted down and taunted, water was drunk, there were more rude words, brows were furrowed, Rick was confused, Richard fixed a fire engine, Kate coloured in two more Unicorns, and Jason wondered what the hell he was doing here.
And that ladies and gentlemen, was our famous TV interviewer called Robin, in a kernel. (Our Day in a nut shell.)
Ian and Sheila will start Day 4 in 30th position.
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