The Epilogue: A Baldrick Moment

So, while Sheila and Richard were off to the airport, Ian and I were tracking down the local Nissan dealer and relieving him of a radiator. Richard had taken the old one off – I just had to fit the new one. Five minutes for a competent mechanic, so 45 minutes for me.

Finally said goodbye to Doha around noon, and an hour or so later I was in the Magic Kingdom, missing the entrance to the first petrol station because a truck was parked across it. No problem, I thought, there will be another.

There wasn’t. The fuel light came on and Udaid was just within reach, 15km away. Udaid? Must be a village, probably camels, a mosque, perhaps a few shops and certainly a petrol station. Wrong. There’s a quarry, and bugger-all else. Now it’s 45km to the border (and the next known fuel) and I have about a teacupful left in the tank. What to do? Press on and pray, and possibly end up empty and immobile? No, there was a better way. The words ‘cunning’ and ‘plan’ hovered, unspoken, in the balmy afternoon breeze.

Park it at the side of the road. Somewhere flat and not too squidgy (rain having fallen there also). Swap the cars round, and problem solved. Sounds like another five-minute job when you say it quickly. Unlash the Beast, tilt the trailer deck, drive it off, drop the jockey wheel, move the road car, swap the ball hitch onto the race car, play car chess, manhandle the reluctant Beast into precise position (without, dear reader, the benefit of power steering or a spotter), load up the road car, lash it down…..so that’ll be another 45 minutes, then. But we’re good to go, and the Beast is more than half full.

Two minutes and 3km later we reach a petrol station, fuel up the road car and do the whole rigmarole again. I could have spat.

Truly, a plan worthy of Baldrick himself.

What a result!

We're at the back of the pack, second to last, with an 0820hrs kick-off time. The weather is overcast and I'm not feeling optimistic. But heigh-ho, we'll give it our best shot.

First we have to get the Beast out of Parc Ferme, then we have 10 minutes for service. I forgot to mention that we'd had to remove the lockwire from the restictor last night (under the supervision of Lionel Carre, Technical Delegate of the FIA), and the first job this morning was for Richard to re-do this, within the 10 minutes. And then clean the windscreeen...

The waiting is of course the worst bit. And there's plenty of that, before you're on the start line. Then...how can I describe it? Your heart rate has already peaked, and once you're moving it gets back to normal. Almost.

We only have the roadbook, the Terratrip, and the waypoint for the next PC. Once we've lost the way, the only option is to straight-line it to the next PC. Which means crossing stone-fields at idling speed, which isn't a lot of fun. But we kept on finding the PCs, collecting their stamps, and ended up at after 240km at the service point, followed by an Emirati who had no nav equipment. Stage 3 started off in the same vein - we were lost, and had to endure the rigours of the stone-fields once more. Then we got into the sands around the Inland Sea - no easier for navigation, but more fun to drive.

Eventually, we're at the finish! We get into Parc Ferme for the last time and there are only seven cars there - how did that happen? Some of the haven't got a full set of PC stanps. Surely we must get penalised for our cross-country excursions, but it seems everyone else had the same problems. But where's Richard?

3km after leaving service, the radiator on the road car (which I'd just driven 650km from Dubai) split. Oh, and it's now raining. And he's 125km away from the bivouac. But by now, Ian Cooper is at Sealine with his trusty steed, a rented Pajero. So, leaving Sheila at Sealine, we head off through the gathering gloom and intensifying rain to rescue Richard. By the time we arrive, he's fixed the split rad with epoxy and we have enough water to re-fill it. Our joy is however shortlived - the split re-opens and Ian ends up towing the stricken road car back to Doha on the trailer. (Rented cars are, of course, eminently suited for such abuse.)

However, our mood is lightened by news from Sealine. Sheila, my trusty co-driver, has just driven the race car over the ceremonial ramp into (wait for it) 5th place!Mabbsy is an unbelievable 2nd, and Mark is 4th in the Buggy. Somehow, the penalties for our late arrival at Parc Ferme have disappeared, and our off-course excursions have resulted in a penalty of a mere 2hrs 15mins - but only three finishers had fewer penalties.

Sheila somehow manages to drive the steering-challenged Beast back to Doha, and the evening chez Ian and Maxine dissolves into an alcoholic haze of mutual congratulation. It's been, as Streaky would say, emotional. What a result!

Qatar Prologue

Bit of a disaster really! Halfway round the return line of the power steering blew off and we lost all the power steer fluid. Then the isolator popped out and we stopped on the track...aaaargh! Gareth towed us off, I found what had happened, reset the isolator and drove back onto the track through the marker fence, which was a 6km length of string on rebar posts. So then we were wrapped up in rebar and string, can this get any worse?

Well we finished and set about finding a new piece of 3/8" hose (got any 'ose?), but that isn't the problem, just the symptom. The p/s box has packed up which is why the return line is getting pressurised. So we've vented the cap to take the pressure off, and half-filled the reservoir so it doesn't splash round too much. All this has cost us a shedload of penalties because we should have been in Parc Ferme whan we were trying to fix the car.

But hey, we're still in it, let's see if we can get round. I'll have arm muscles like Charles Atlas by the time I've doen 340km without power steering! Wish us luck - looks like we'll need it!

Greetings from Doha!

Finally, plan B came good. Thanks to Ravi (who has connections there) the passport escaped from the Saudi Embassy on Tuesday evening, and Wednesday morning at 0815hrs I was on my way with the race car on the trailer. Had a close shave at the Abu Dhabi border when they demanded a Certificate of Tourism for the race car – I’d only got one for the road car. But they relented and by 1330hrs I was in Saudi, and 125km later I was exiting Saudi for Qatar. At 1530hrs, 100m from the Qatar Motorsports Federation (QMMF) office, a taxi overtook me, with some familiar faces waving. Unbelievably, Sheila and Richard had managed to arrive by plane and taxi at the exact same time as me!

Major thanks are due to Ian and Maxine Cooper, who have kindly put the three of us up for the duration, conveniently close to QMMF. Ian will join Richard at Sealine on Saturday for the main event.

Documentation is sorted, the car passed scrutineering this morning with flying colours, and tomorrow we need to be at Parc Ferme in Sealine before noon, for a prologue starting at 1300hrs.

Richard has been busy tidying and tightening various things, and we’ve picked up a few points which need attention before our next outing. But the Beast seems in good fettle, we’ve done all we can so let’s see what tomorrow brings.

Best Laid Plans...

Just when we thought it was sorted, a bureaucratic problem rears its ugly head.
My residence visa expires in the middle of December, and according to the Saudi Embassy rules, they need a month of validity to issue a transit visa. Now with a bit of luck they might not spot it, but knowing them, they will.

But, as the great Baldrick would say, I have a cunning plan. I think this would be Plan C. This is to get Richard a transit visa, and let him drive my car, while I fly to Doha. There is bijou snagette in this, which is persuading the Saudi Emb that he has my permission to drive my car, but surely that must be solvable.

Watch this space for the next exciting episode in the Qatar Baja Saga...

Revenge of the Spider

It’s been a while, but there is much to report. The car came back from A2B with the refurbished shocks and shiny front and rear bumpers, and went straight into Skyline for the exhaust system to be repaired. They have replaced the broken Y-section and the silencer box, and added a flexible section as well.
From there it went into Saluki Motorsport, for stainless steel top and bottom radiator hoses, and a revamp of the intake system which was seemingly letting dust through the filter. The new system includes a complete new air-cleaner box, leading to a long section of 3” aluminium pipe which exits towards the bulkhead, through a new restrictor (36mm for 2012), over the back of the engine, and then forwards to connect with the plenum at the front. This circuitous route gives us additional post-restrictor air volume, which is a Good Thing.
Then Rick at Saluki found various other things, which had either not been completed or not noticed before. The fuse and relay boxes weren’t anchored to the new inner wing, the compressor wasn’t working, two bolts were missing from one engine mount, and there was a nasty noise coming from the thrust bearing of the clutch.
Now, those of you who have been paying attention will recall that last year we replaced the clutch, thrust bearing and the adaptor plate, because its integral spider (which supports the thrust bearing) had fractured. Well, guess what – it’s déjà vu all over again. Thrust bearing has seized due to dust ingress, and the spider is broken.
The whole thing came from Marks 4x4 in Oz. It’s cast in aluminium, which is fine for the adaptor plate, but not so clever for the spider. The casting is horribly porous and brittle, and clearly not man enough for the job. So Robbie, Saluki’s brilliant fabricator, has managed somehow to weld it back together, and four additional steel legs will be bolted to the adaptor and welded to a new steel ring which will support the new bearing. It’s not the most elegant solution, but should hold together until we can fabricate a complete new all-steel spider. All of this should be complete tomorrow (Sunday).
Plan A had been to send the race car by car transporter to Doha, and fly down to meet it. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get the minimum 6 cars to make this viable, so we have reverted to Plan B – trailer the race car to Doha. The trailer now has four new boots, and a new jockey wheel assembly to replace the one which got twatted some time ago. I’m in the process of getting a transit visa for Saudi Arabia, which inconveniently lies between the UAE and Qatar. Leaving Wednesday (23rd) morning, I should be there by evening, while Sheila and Richard will fly, getting there in time to complete documentation. We’ll only need to sticker the car before scrutineering on Thursday.
It’s all ended up being another last-minute panic, but assuming the Saudi Embassy and Saluki Motorsport do ‘the needful’, we’ll be racing next weekend.

Summer-time (and the living is easy)

Once again summer (and indeed Ramadan) is upon us. Unsurprisingly, there has been little to report on the rally car front, but here’s a quick update anyway.

The car has been in A2B Garage since the Desert Challenge. They have stripped out the inner front wings and replaced them with custom fabrication which will hopefully be more resistant to tearing. The Front bumper has been removed, the chassis trimmed by 100mm and a new front bumper fabricated and installed. This provides much better clearance on the approach angle, as you can see from the photos. The rear bumper is going to be modified in a similar way.

All six Ohlin shocks have been removed, and are being reconditioned/repaired by Ivan Ingrilli at Powertec. The top rear shock mount which fractured has been re-fabricated, and awaits welding onto the chassis.

The exhaust will be removed, and rebuilt with some flexible sections to avoid the stress on such a long rigid system, which resulted in the stainless steel pipes shearing in two places. Then, once the vehicle is back on its wheels, we can look further into the low oil-pressure and oil loss which we experienced during the DC. Initial investigation shows good compression on all cylinders.

There will be a Qatar Baja this year, to be held 24-26th November, and we are planning to take part. This is one day plus a prologue, and appears to be in a similar format to the last event held around 2007, using only road books and no GPS.

Whether there will be an Abu Dhabi Desert Challenge in 2012 is still unknown. I understand that provisional dates have been put in the FIA calendar, but Abu Dhabi Tourism Authority (the major sponsor in 2010-11) have not yet confirmed that sponsorship will be forthcoming. However, since it appears that there will not be a round of the WRC in Abu Dhabi, (ADTA having rejected the FIA’s offer of a candidate round) we can only hope that the budget can be found for the Desert Challenge. As they say – watch this space.

I’m off to Spain for 4 weeks now, so hopefully there will be further vehicular progress to report once I’m back.

Short Cut to a Home Run

(The Blog-napper has left the building...)

Having spent most of yesterday faffing about withe the various stuff which the alternator drives, we arrived at the conclusion that the alternator was the culprit. Like the crowd at Fibbers on a Friday night, it was tight and noisy. We drowned it in WD40 and that seemed to help, and we managed a quick blat round the dunes before dinner during which the belt stayed put. Based on this, we decided to start the fifth and final day, but with a view to finishing rather than being heroic.

We managed to keep the Patrol moving along at 'bimbling speed', keeping the revs below 3000 as far as possible, and had only one hairy moment in the early part. We attempted a steep climb, bailed out of it and landed in a soft patch of level sand. Some quick work with the sand ladders got us out, but not before two of the Kamaz trucks had joined us - and the driver of one came within a gnats tadger of putting it on its side. Anyway, we escaped and found an alternate route which ended in a rather hard landing, knackering one of the bonnet pins. Tiewraps to the rescue!

We came into service as planned, topped up with oil and carried on. The plan was to avoid part of the next section where we'd come to grief last year, by taking a gatch track westwards instead of rally route. This would only cost us a few waypoints at 15 minutes each, and get us to the Hameem Road and PC2. However, we couldn't spot the gatch track, and after a fruitless attempt to find it we blew a belt - and another hose. So we abandoned Plan B and moved on to Plan C - which is straight up Deadcoach Gatch to where rally route rejoins - cutting off the entire westward loop. Just as well, because shortly after that we blew another belt, strange banging noises were coming from somewhere down below, and the suspension seemed non-existant. By this time we only had a short section across the dunes before the finish, which we made well inside the 6-hour limit time.

So we finished 20th (and last) on the final stage of a rally that started with 37 cars, which does rather show how tough this event is. Overall we were 18th, which considering all our mechanical issues was not too bad.

The left rear shock mount has sheared off the chassis - this is a pin maybe 30mm diameter - and the shock is just hanging there, having ripped out the hose to the remote can. The s/s exhaust is completely broken in two places - one branch of the final 'Y' junction, and again just ahead of the silencer box. The comms on Sheila's helmet packed up as well, and we had to swap helmets so I could hear her. The alternator bearing, despite lashings of WD40, is still noisy, so we'll have to replace that again. The engine is down on power and needs an overhaul. There's some damage to the front end and the right wing. And we still need to fit studs all round to both front hubs.

Despite the fact that the stages were very similar to previous years, and until the final day the weather was relatively cool, it has been an increadibly brutal rally. The sand has been very soft, and the overcast conditions make reading the sand even more difficult due to the lack of shadow. There have been numerous rollovers and pitch-poles - I believe the G-Force team had their two pickups on their roof a total of three times. Raed Baker pitch-poled his L200 and is in hospital with a broken back, his co-driver Nabil broke his neck and narrowly escaped being a paraplegic. Alan 'Robbo' Roberts from Oz had his KTM come down on him and suffered a massive haematoma to his right buttock, but fortunately not (as originally thought) a broken coccyx.

Major thanks are due to Rick Carless, the team's Technical Director (!) and Fred Santiago, who I'm sure had no idea what he was letting himself in for! And of course my wife, partner and co-driver, Sheila who has been amazing all week.

12 months left before we do it all again!

Brief, but pants......

To the relief of many of our readers, today’s rambling monologue will be a little shorter. That’s the good news. The bad news is that the reason for a relatively short blog is that Mr. and Mrs B. suffered an even shorter competitive entry in today’s Special Stage. Because about 10 miles* in to what should have been 200 miles* of desert crossing today, a component part of the Patrol gave up the ghost.

I’ll give you three guesses as to which part. Was it;

A) The PK 2040 EPDM serpentine belt

B) The parabolic accumulatory giblet nubbler

C) The sequential crank angled oojamaflip

If you guessed A) then well done, you’ve been paying attention to the earlier blogs. If you guessed B) or C), you’ve probably just come from a very late night out and are currently feeling a little tired and emotional. Or you work behind the parts counter at Halfords.

After replacing the belt for the umpteenth time, looking to the heavens and quietly uttering the words “Goodness me this is all really rather tiresome”, Ian made the smart decision to return to the bivouac rather than keep driving through the stage and eventually run out of PK 2040 EPDM serpentine belts somewhere beyond the black stump.

The whole team spent the rest of today removing alternators, water pumps power steering pumps etc. from the vehicle, dismantling those as best they could and making sure all the pulleys were free to rotate without binding, and aligned with one another. Thanks to the BMW crew for the loan of the Torx tools and letting Ian have a look over what turns out to be exactly the same alternator used on their race car, to ensure ours was not damaged in any way. And how’s this for service; the very nice Mr. Nadir from Al Ghandi, who supplied the parts yesterday, rang me at mid-day today to check that he’d supplied the correct parts, and to ask how the team were getting on. If he carries on like that, Mr. Nadir will be on next year’s service crew!). Watch your back Rick (not you Rick).

In other news Team Saluki’s day was cut short with fuel issues, Fadi Melky pulled out at the halfway point (problem as yet unknown), Mike Ziegler didn’t start and Malcolm Anderson and Patrick McMurren finally had a decent days desert duning. Well done DuneRaiders. It appears James West didn’t start today – apparently he has an injured hand which is making it painful for him to ride, yet yesterday he was fastest UAE finisher. And a mention too for 21 year old local motocross rider Sam Sunderland, who proved that his stage win on Day 2 was no fluke with another Stage win today. Better watch your back James……

Right I’m signing off from the blog for another year. I am flying to the UK tonight to test drive some fast expensive cars courtesy of those very nice people at Jaguar. Ian will hopefully be updating the blog tomorrow, the final day of the rally. I’d like to thank my agent, PR staff, writers, chauffer and masseuse for their support, which has allowed me to make it through a tough few days. But I can’t because I don’t have them. This phantom blogging pays less than being a service crew member. Eh Rick? (no, not you Rick, the other Rick).

It’s been emotional.

* Miles: What kilometres become when they grow up.

A PK2040EPDM Rick Rick Patrol Patrol kind of day...

Well there’s enough material from today to stitch a royal wedding dress but I’m going to try embroidering the truth instead. Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to begin. Ian and Sheila started the day in 16th place overall but knew that the problems with the failing / loose serpentine belt might well happen again today. That meant a start time of 08.39 this morning, and as I start to write this, exactly 12 hours later, Ian, Rick and Fred have JUST reached the bivouac after what has been a VERY long day for everyone.

Sat in my office actually getting some work done for a change, Rick rang my phone at 10.30am. According to the Iritrack, the satellite navigation system which allows me to follow the team’s progress via my PC at work, Ian was still moving, albeit slowly. However Rick told me that they had stopped at least once already to say the timing belt – their last one – was showing signs of damage and might not last much longer. I was therefore tasked with buying a half a dozen more “6PK2040 EPDM” drive belts from the “Black Belt” company in Dubai. But judo where they are? No, neither did I. No problem, they have a website. And on the contact page…..there is no phone number. Nor a map. Wonderful. A bit of judicious research led me to find their parent company’s name, which, via directory enquiries, led to one office phone number, which turned out to be an office miles from mine, but that led to another phone number, and at last, the location of their nearest warehouse. 5 minutes after my 20 minute long investigation, Ian sent me an SMS with directions!!

But before I could leave the office, the ‘dreaded’ phone call came from Rick. “They’ve stopped, the timing belt’s broken and they can’t go on. We also need another timing belt tension pulley assembly, the other one’s knackered, call Rick (that’s another Rick, not ‘Rick’ Rick) for details because he fitted the last one. Ian thinks it’s for a Camaro” So I call Rick2 and he can barely hear me over the wind in the dunes. You see Rick2 is a service engineer for Team Saluki and had his own issues to deal with. But eventually “Yes, it’s off a Camaro”. So I ring the local Chevy dealer Al Ghanim, who fortunately are not too far from our office. “There are two types of pulley assembly for the LS2 engine and by the way, the Camaro doesn’t have that engine”. So now I have a choice of two units, that I am to have delivered 400kms away this afternoon, or Ian is out of the race permanently, and they could both be wrong. Remember yesterday when I wasted mine and Rick’s afternoon (that’s Rick, not Rick) delivering the wrong parts? Hmmm, I don’t need to repeat that. So I drive to the dealership where the incredibly helpful counter clerk Mr. Nadir, agrees that I can take both the similar looking items, and return the surplus one next week. Take a bow Mr. Nadir. As I call Ian to confirm the details of the required pulley, I can hear the unmistakable sound of a helicopter in the background. “Got to go, the chopper’s here”. So that’s Tim 2, Ian and Sheila 2, in the Desert Challenge helicopter rescue stakes. Oh, and for future reference, it’s off a Corvette. The pulley assembly, not the helicopter.

Next it’s off to the back of beyond to find Black Belt. The ‘sign’ on their warehouse is nothing more than black spray paint. It looks like graffiti but Ian had at least warned me. Anyway they were very helpful and sold me a dozen belts (by now Rick (not Rick) had asked me to buy 6 of another length as well “to be sure”.) A sort of belt and braces approach to a belt and pulley problem. Next stop is at the office of Sebastien Husseini Racing. Seb is supporting Quad racers down at the DC this year and his engineer Stefan was leaving Al Quoz, (thankfully near our office) at 3pm. So with the parts duly delivered to Stefan, my work was done. Yeah right……………

Back in the office at 3pm I checked on the location of Ian’s car. I knew he and Rick and Fred had gone into the desert with Ian’s road going Patrol to recover the race car. Thanks to the Iritrack I can see where it is - but it is MILES from anywhere, 42 miles as the crow flies from the bivouac to be exact. But crows have the advantage of not having to climb every 400 metre high energy sapping dune with a 2 tonne Nissan Patrol on tow behind them. 42 miles of desert recovery might as well have been 400. It would be a dreadful experience towing the car through that, and the chances of a nasty accident occurring under such conditions were very real.

BUT, technology is a WONDERFUL thing. Having worked out their position on the ground thanks to Iritrack (which shows the location relative to local terrain but does NOT give a GPS coordinate, for fear teams would use it to somehow cheat), I found the same pattern of dunes on Google earth, zoomed in and determined their coordinates. I could then see that if they headed South (which is directly AWAY from the nearest tarmac and so would not appear to make sense if you were on the ground working under pressure) they could pick up the border fence with Saudi Arabia. This is patrolled by border patrols (funny that) and so there is a well defined track running its entire length. After 20 miles or so they could pick up another well worn track heading North, which would lead them to tarmac and a road home. Thank you Mr Google.

So at 4pm I called Ian, explained the plan, sent him the waypoints, and it was agreed that they’d turn South initially. Between them the guys rigged up another (worn out) belt on the (worn out) pulley assembly and Ian was able to drive through the tricky 1.5 miles of dunes to the border track. Unfortunately Rick, who, bless him, has pretty limited sand driving experience, popped a tyre off the rim of a wheel as he followed Ian out. Easily done when the tyres are VERY deflated. It took almost an hour of digging and struggling with the car to get it back on the move again (changing tyres on steeply inclined soft sand is dangerous and energy sapping work), but from there the way home was at least ‘clear running’. Time now – 5.30pm

Well, it would have been a clear run except the race car threw its final fan belt and that was that. There was no way to drive it without cooling or power steering, so they hitched it on a tow trope behind the road going Patrol and carried on. Well, they would have carried on except they were then stopped by one of the border patrols who, upon spotting a Patrol, towing a Patrol, at dusk, along the border, became nervous. So Rick (not ‘Rick’) plus Fred, in the Patrol, followed by Ian, in the Patrol, followed the patrol to the patrol post. Which luckily, was exactly where they had intended to turn North anyway. What they hadn’t intended on doing was spending an hour explaining why they were at the Saudi border at dusk. (You’d have thought the race overalls and race car on a tow rope would have been a bit of a clue, wouldn’t you?). Time now, nearly 7pm.

So just the small matter of towing a car at night down 20 miles of desert track then. But they made it. Well done guys. Have a drink. Time now, 8.30pm. As I finish this blog, (time now, 10.00pm) I still don’t know if the pulley assembly was the right one because Rick and Fred are not answering their phones. Ian’s is switched off. Maybe they are all sleeping peacefully, having replaced the parts. Maybe they are working hard replacing the pulley. Or maybe they are desperately trying to modify the wrong part the Phantom Blogger sent them. It’s been that kind of day………..

Sleep well………………. I know I won’t.

UPDATE @ 11pm. Rick 1 just rang - one of the two pulley assemblies IS the correct one. Hurrah, Hurrah and Thrice Hurrah. Night night. Sleep tight.

Belts off, briefly undone

360 kilometres of endless monotonous tracks through the desert, racing at speeds of up to 180kmh, swerving in and out of traffic with just one objective – meeting Rick Carless halfway between the bivouac and my office, to give him the front wheel hub studs I’d brought down from Dubai this afternoon, to fit to Ian’s car this evening. Of course it would have helped if I’d paid more attention to the part number Ian carefully repeated twice when he called me last night. I could have saved myself the four hour round trip if I’d realised that I had the wrong parts with me. (Now look. As everyone knows, many studs look very similar. I mean, I bear more than a passing resemblance to Brad Pitt). And I could have saved Rick four additional hours of driving too. Sorry Rick. Sorry Ian. Sorry Sheila. Sorry Fred.

It doesn’t help that Nissan (you know, that little car company) actually carried only two of the correct wheel studs in all of the United Arab Emirates (you know, that little country where 15% of all the vehicles on the road are Nissan Patrols) Of course 67% of all quoted statistics have just been made up. And Rick had bought those two the day before, so now Nissan is fresh out of them. But anyway, I digress. Ian and Sheila finished today in seven hours and eight minutes, a long haul journey by any standards and much harder when you’re sweating inside a race car. But a steady finish each day is the best way to a top ten finish overall, so it’s another good day.

Early on in the day Newtrix passed a race vehicle, possibly a pick-up, which had shot straight over the top of a dune and pitch poled onto its nose and then its back on the other side. Mark Powell / Evans Quin and the crew of the other Predator buggy had both stopped to help so Ian and Sheila pressed on, and were soon passing many vehicles, including local racer Fadi Melky. Their two cars would trade places several times during the day, with Fadi eventually gaining the upper hand. At one point their dognesses were dicing with a black Land Cruiser when the two drivers decided to approach a bowl from two different angles, the Cruiser being the first to enter. However the car became stuck at the bottom, and Ian had to take avoiding action to avoid smashing into it. After all, he’s not French (see the 2010 DC blog). Eventually the Cruiser worked its way out but the crew kindly stopped and helped Ian and Sheila to recover their vehicle too. Obviously the Cruiser team weren’t French either. Remember Agincourt. Yes, so does my Grandad.

Shortly before the service PC the Dog Patrol dropped over a seemingly innocuous (63 points scrabble score, although that statistic may also be made up) drop and the impact was enough to bend the drag link on the steering.(And now, over to Danny La Rue; another fine example of a drag link). Consequently the Patrols wheels were never pointing in quite the same direction for the rest of the day and this may have had some bearing on its bearings. Then after the service PC, Ian and Sheila had another brief stuck. Now if you’ve ever had a brief stuck you’ll know how uncomfortable it is, but this one was worse because they were briefly stuck just exactly where a photographer was standing. So now, somewhere on the ethernet, there are no doubts photos of Ian and Sheila’s brief stuck.

Free from their brief dilemma, the doggy duo were a mere 10 kilometres from the finish line when Ian’s belt broke. I appreciate that this blog is now taking on the overtone of an advert for a gentleman’s outfitters but honestly, his belt broke. His serpentine belt to be exact, you know, the one which drives the water pump and power steering. To make matters worse , the belt had decided to give Ian’s bottom hose a good whipping. (This blog now carries a ‘over 18s only’ rated certificate). You know, the bottom hose on the radiator. The belt had cut clean through the hose as it “left the building”, so now the dynamic duo were without power steering, without a water pump and, more to the point, without coolant in the radiator. “Never fear” thought Ian “for I have cunningly packed a spare hose and serpentine belt with me in this here box of critical spares”. Which is good. But try as he might, and, perhaps, distracted by thoughts of briefs and belts, poor Ian could not make the hose fit. Which is bad. It seems it was a smidgen* too small a diameter. Ian was not about to take such a setback lying down, because the sand was too hot for that, so he took the original damaged hose, cut a tad** off, and managed to just about fit it back onto the radiator. With most of the water they were carrying now in the radiator, and the second belt fitted, off raced Newtrix.

Now I’m going to let you guess what happened next. You’ve got 30 seconds. Tick tock, tick tock. Have you guessed yet? Nope? Well it involves a serpentine belt and a bottom hose whipping. For a second time. Incredibly with just 5 kms to go, history repeated itself (does the time taken to cover 5 kms of sand dunes count as history?), the second belt broke, the hose was split again, and the radiator drained. By now, Ian and Sheila were a bit miffed, to say the least. I could say more but our ‘18s only’ certificate doesn’t allow it. With no more belt, and no chance to cut the pipe any shorter, Ian patched up the remains of the pipe with gaffer tape (well, he’s the gaffer after all), took the radiator cap off to ensure there was no pressure to strain the gaffer tape (which is not known for its resistance to high pressure water), put the last dregs of their drinking water into the rad. (there was only 5kms to go after all) and sped off. Slowly. And they made it to the finish that way, on a wing and a prayer, but they made it. So congratulations Mr. and Mrs BriefStuck BeltWhippers.

As we go to press the final results are not yet published on the internet but if I had to guess I’d say they are probably placed around 13^th or 14^th overall at the moment. Mark Powell and Evans Quin finished 5^th on the day in their fire damaged Predator buggy, Fadi Melky / Dane Novarlic finished well (but as yet – no published results) Malcolm Anderson / Patrick McMurren appeared to retire at PC 1 with an as yet unknown problem (but the car is back at the bivvy) and Dave Mabbs / Andy Robinson’s FJ Cruiser is still stuck in the desert, a long way from anywhere, with (apparently) a blown engine.

Local biker and my mate James West is doing very well on his Yamaha bike, lying in 2^nd overall just 2 minutes 22 seconds behind multi time world champion Marc Coma. Way to go James. And our Aussie friend Allan “Robbo” Roberts is back over from Oz to have another go at the Challenge and is currently in 21^st place. Hang in there Robbo and we’ll throw another shrimp on yer Barbie.

Information for our European friends. And the French.

*Smidgen. An imperial term meaning 7/12^ths of a bit **Tad. 11 & 8/19ths of a Smidgen

Of studs and gesticulation

A steady day One in the dunes was much like watching Channel 4 in the UK. A few interesting moments but no major dramas. In Ian’s words “for the first 30 or so kilometres we overtook quite a few cars, some which were actually moving and only one of which was on its roof”. I’ve no idea who the first casualty was but apparently the driver flipped his car onto its roof just two kilometres into a 2500 kilometre race. In the words of the organisers “Thanks for the entry fees – the airport’s that way gentlemen”. Not a good start, but I’ve heard no reports of any injuries so I’m sure the occupants were OK.

After 30 kilometres or so Ian noticed that the oil pressure was a little low and the oil temperature a little high, so at the service point he sensibly stopped for a while to top up the oil and change the filter as a precaution. Special mention here for Mr Rick Carless, Newtrix’s Technical Director (he must be because that’s what his T shirt says) who has once again flown to Dubai at his own expense so that he can burn his hands, scrape his knuckles, become dehydrated and sun burnt, whilst groveling in the sand under the Patrol just to keep it in fine fettle. Rick, we salute you, you are a diamond. (Of course that could mean that he’s very expensive and you get little in return, but that’s not the case. Rick’s cheap as chips, and there’s more of him this year than ever before). And whilst we are on the subject of technical support, Rick’s left hand drive right hand man is Mr. Fred Santiago, rally support engineer, a.k.a. Service engineer, Al Thika Packaging LLC. I suspect Fred thought that helping his boss go motor racing for a week would be a cushy little brown nosing number. HA!! Fred is now learning that 22 working hour days filled with mindless boredom staring at sand dunes interspersed (87 points in scrabble?) with manic high pressure servicing moments, do not a cushy number make. You live and learn Fred, you live and learn.

So after changing the filter and kicking the tyres, Rick gave Ian and Sheila the all clear and they shot off into the desert at great velocity. A short while later, whilst minding their own business, bothering no-one and making fine progress, Ian saw our good friend, very experienced off roader and sweep team member Streaky (if you have to ask, you don’t want to know) gesticulating wildly in their direction. Now Streaky has been known to gesticulate for self amusement before but this particular gesticulation seemed aimed in Ian and Sheila’s direction, so naturally, Ian followed Streaky’s frantic “go this way” signals. The consequence of which was that Newtrix became almost immediately stuck in a sand bowl, from which it took Ian and Streaky approximately 30 minutes to extract the car. When asked why he had led them into a sand bowl, Streaky pointed out that Ian had noticed him long after he had started waving and subsequently turned long after he had intended Ian to change direction. I am of course a remotely located non witness to this event but I can’t help wondering if perhaps he could have stopped waving a little earlier? Note to Streaky; Gesticulation. It’s all in the timing mate.

Finally free from the bowl, once more their dognesses hurtled onward, only to note, after some time, that when exceeding 4000 rpm (a not uncommon scenario when driving in the desert) the car was mis-firing. Ian correctly diagnosed that in fact the fuel pump was giving problems and went to switch on the spare (it’s a race car – we fit them), only to discover that his knob had fallen off. Ian and Sheila were, quite understandably, shocked at this development (it‘s only fair to point out that Sheila was perhaps more disappointed than shocked). You see the bezel, which secures the fuel pump selector knob to the dashboard, had shaken loose due to the constant vibration within the race car, and the knob had fallen inside the dashboard. “No problem” thought Ian, “I’ll just pull over here and reach inside the dashboard to retrieve it”. A minute or two later, with the knob firmly grasped in one hand, he was able to twist it in the required direction and all was well again. Until that is, he went to pull away from the “now you tell me” soft sand in which he had parked. Unfortunately the car became bogged down for a while, but much use of sand ladders and earthy language later, the hounds were off after the rabbit.

Then they raced, chased, climbed, descended, cheered, cursed, hurtled, yadda, yadda, yadda and arrived at the finish line. (See how the last two hours only took a couple of lines – impressive!)

So Newtrix ended the day in 17th place with no major damage. The front cross member was slightly bent in “Streaky Bowl” but it’s like a ‘mascara edition’ of Cosmopolitan; it’s a mainly cosmetic issue. Less cosmetic is the problem of the shaking loose of the bolts which secure the front hubs to the drive shaft. Having a wheel fall off a car at high speed is not a lot of fun. Ask me how I know. (Been there, got the T shirt and special edition underpants to prove it) Rick drove almost 300kms this evening to Madinat Zayed, location of the nearest Nissan dealer to the race bivouac, only to find that they had just 2 of the special studs needed to secure the hubs. Yours truly is hoping to be able to buy a dozen of them tomorrow in Dubai and then to find a way of getting them 400kms down to the bivouac by tomorrow evening. So a typical day for the Desert Challenge then.

In other local news, Fadi Melky / Dane Novarlic in Fadi’s wonderful Strange Rover is in 10th place. Good job guys. Malcolm Anderson / Patrick McMurren (Team Dune Raider – Ansell) are in 20th (I’ll take all the credit for that thanks – my old Rangie chassis and I showed Patrick the DC co-driver ropes ;-). Dave “Broke Back” Mabbs and Andy “Didn’t I learn the first time I co-drove for him” Robinson retired early with engine problems in their FJ Cruiser. Their crew are battling against the clock to find the problem and rectify it. Mark Powell’s Predator buggy burst into flames, or rather the spare tyres mounted above the exhaust did, damaging the throttle cable and other engine components in the process. The car is at the bivouac and they hope to continue tomorrow – with the spare tyres relocated!

Photos today are of yesterday’s prologue. A theme which may continue for some time given the absence of any internet connection down at the bivouac.

That’s all folks. Tune in tomorrow for another exciting episode…….

The Prologue

(I always have a bit of a Frankie Howerd moment when I write those words - but maybe some of you are too young to remember 'Up Pompeii'.) Drivers Briefing produced - along with the usual info which we've heard before) a nice letter in Arabic which asks the Police to be nice to competitors. That might have been handy yesterday!

Then it's off to Marina Mall for lunch, followed by a post-prandial stroll through the prologue. To call it the 'Super Special' does rather invite disapointment - the terrain is a bit of landfill beside the sea, full of bits of rebar, rocks and assorted building detritus. I don't expect to be quick, and the bulk of the Patrol is not very happy in all the tight hairpins - not helped by my oversteering at every turn. There is a jump (no, I didn't) and a watersplash which covers the entire vehicle in shite. Mohd Bin Sulayem starts the affair by taking his old Escort WRC car round. I end up 21st out of 35 cars and trucks, rather worse than I expected, but still ahead of Mark Powell, Dave Mabbs, Fadi Melki and Malcolm Anderson. This does rather give a hint of things to come - it's a strong field and the top 6 positions read like a who's who of cross-country rallying - Peterhansel, Novitsky, Zapletal, Briskindov (who?), Gadasin and Schlesser.

Peterhansel in the Mini is absolutely awesome and I'll be surprised if he doesn't win. Sheila has carefully packed my reading glasses in their case and left them in my road car - which Rick has taken to the bivvy - so I'm walking round this evening in my heavily tinted driving glasses looking like Stevie Wonder, and with similar visual acuity (but less musical talent). I am actually typing this in braille. We start SS1 tomorrow at 1040hrs and plan to be back in the bivvy in daylight. Hopefully. Live tracking should be up on http://www.abudhabidesertchallenge.com/, so feel free to log on and check out our progress - car 214.

Knock Knock, Who's there?, The Phantom, The Phantom who?, The Phantom Blogger of Old Ranches

Oh yes 'tis I, Ian's surrogate blogger, the one they call 'thingummy' who once a year crawls out from under his drinks cabinet to assume the role of Communications Director of the Newtrix Blog. It's a very important role. For Ian and Sheila's blog. I like to think of it as my Blog Role.

And apart from toilet humour, I have also been known to contribute photographic evidence of Ian and Sheila's "Further Adventures In Rallyland". So for your delight and delectation, I have generously donated a plethora of digital pixels, organised in such a manner as to entertain and inform your optical nerves. So until tomorrow..........."Enjoy".

ADDC2011 Scrutineering

The new alternator is slightly bigger than the old one, which means another change to the serpentine belt length - we're now up to 2050mm. And investigation of the steering wobble leads to the discovery that the 'new' wheels I fitted for Hail are not, in fact, circular. So another trip to the wilds of BMW Road in Sharjah yields a secondhand set of original Nissan rims which are 100% straight, and a couple of decent Yokohamas as well. So I now have 6 (straight) rims on/in the car, and 4 spares on the truck. Result. Now if only I had the trailer tyres, life would be perfect.

Sadly, life isn't. TNT let us down, the tyres arrived on Wednesday and got snagged by customs on Thursday - and they don't re-open till Sunday. Bugger! So, sod it, I'll drive the race car to scrutineering and if we have a problem in the rally, I'll hire a recovery truck.

However, when one of Abu Dhabi's finest saw me heading down to Yas, he decided that a rally car shouldn't be on the road and pulled me up. He was all set to give me a ticket, but couldn't find exactly which traffic regulation I had infringed - so he let me off with a slap on the wrist. Another result!

We made a our midday scrutineering appointment, and spent the rest of the afternoon queueing and being scutineered. But mainly queueing - behind Novitsky (X3), Peterhansel (Mini) and Zapletal (L200) - which allowed ample time to renew old acquaintances. The two Powertec buggies were no-shows, sadly they couldn't be finished in time, although they had been registered - as motorbikes! Anyway, we're through scrutineering with minimal fuss. Third result!

Meanwhile, back at NewTrix HQ, Fred was getting stuck into loading the pickup with all kinds of everything, including a bunch of spares from the Nissan dealer, Al Rostamani, on sale-or-return. What nice people! Anyway, Fred was basically finished by the time we got back, which saved us a load of time, bless him. So he not only knows what's on the truck, but where it is - which is a change from previous years.

Tomorrow is drivers' briefing at Yas at 1100hrs, then start and prologue at 1500hrs at Marina Mall. After that, Rick heads off to the bivvy to set up camp, the rest of the team are overnight at the Rotana on Yas, and then it's 'game on'.

The alternator has landed

Yes, I finally got my hands on it this morning and rushed it round to A2B - and it fits. Huge sigh of relief. So hopefuly they can nail it into place this afternoon and tomorrow I can take it to Rob at Bin Sulayem Garage for testing, and then to the TRA for registration. The door is re-painted, the few odd jobs they had to do are done and who knows, we might even have the chance to take it for The Final Shakedown before the DC.

Tyres for the trailer have had to be sourced from UK, because none that are here have the right load rating. And the supplier in UK couldn't ship outside the EU. So I ordered them for delivery to my Dad in Kingsbridge, who then had to individually wrap them (why?) before TNT would pick them up on Friday. As long as they arrive sometime this week that'll do, because I don't need the trailer till this Friday.

Lots of information has now been posted on the ADDC website, including the start list where I am seeded at 214, ahead of Fadi Melki (who beat me last year) and behind Dave Mabbs (who I beat last year) - go figure. But who cares, once we get going the numbers are academic. It looks a strong field - maybe another top 10 finish isn't on the cards.

I've reached the point where excitement and panic are pretty equally balanced. Last year's cooling problems and this year's disaster at Hail are still too fresh in my mind. I just want to get Day 1 out of the way without any dramas, then I can settle down.

See ya later, alternator

There's not much that attaches to the serpentine belt that hasn't been changed since the Beast came into my posession. The AC compressor has been binned and replaced with a spring-loaded jockey wheel. The water pump has been replaced with one that doesn't have a viscous fan. The P/S pump just got changed as well. And now it's the turn of the alternator. (I'll say that again for those of you who didn't get it first time - the TURN of the alternator. It rotates, you see - please try to keep up.)

The nice man at Bosch told me the voltage regulator had ceased to regulate and the bearings were noisy, and maybe he could fix it. Yeah, right. Unfortunately, the required parts for this Delphi alternator are 'not coming in Dubai' to quote my friend the Grumpy Goat. So after fruitless waiting for Mr Bosch to fix it, and equally fruitless searching for parts in the darkest recesses of Dubai and Sharjah, I decided to hit the internet - because you can find anything on Ebay.

Bingo! Mr Kovaleski in Connecticut had the exact alternator in its original GM package for a starting bid of $100, and when the hammer came down no-one else wanted it. So Mr TNT wil be picking it up shortly, hurrah.

Other bijou problemettes have been addressed by A2B, the fans re-wired, the hub re-sealed and the door taken off for beating and painting. So sometime soon we should be able to get it re-registered.

The clock continues to tick.

Long Way Out

It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. My business partner and part-time blog-napper knows a few people. People who know…people. A certain celebrity was visiting, and would like to go out in a race car. So when he asked if the Beast would be ready, I naturally lied and said yes. This was before I realized that the pump would take two days to fit and that the oil line had been sabotaged.

But by dint of ignoring anything vaguely work-related for a week or so, it all came together, and on Wednesday we were out in the desert with that star of stage, screen and TV – Charley Boorman! He and his sidekick, Billy ‘Biketruck’ Ward were out for an appearance at the Dubai Literary Festival, and had a day free. So Dave Mabbs (Team FJ), Mark Powell (Team Saluki) and I shared the arduous task of blatting round the desert for the best part of a day with them, which was great fun.

Well, most of it – except the bit where I managed to prop the car up on a damn great rock near the Saddle, and the bit where the alternator packed up and the battery went flat, and we had to be towed. Both times with Billy ‘the Jinx’ on board. So I explained that they’d actually been on a shakedown, and as bikers accustomed to things going horribly wrong, they took it in their stride. And a nicer couple of blokes you couldn’t wish to meet.

We ended up seeing their show on Friday, which was great fun, and then meeting up again on Saturday at a charity fundraiser for Tony Jordan, a biker involved in a horrendous crash at Dubai Autodrome in November.

Anyway, the race car is back at the Al Quoz Hospital for Poorly Race-cars, the alternator is allegedly being fixed elsewhere and I’m starting to panic because the DC looms ever closer.

Still pumping..

How hard can it possibly be to fit a power steering pump? A couple of bolts, a couple of hoses and Bob’s your uncle. If only life was that simple.

Turns out the pump reservoir wasn’t exactly made for this pulley, and the pulley fouls it, so I have to insert a washer behind the pulley to make everything fit. Then the pump has to be spaced off the block so the pulleys line up. Looks like about 10mm, so I get an aluminium spacer made up, which needs a bit of filing to make it fit round the bolt head which hold the existing plate onto the block. But of course then the pump retaining bolts are too short, and of course they are UNC thread which means I have to go hunting for them. Another hunt into darkest Awir produces the required 6-rib drive belt 2040mm long. But the plumbing turns out to be complicated enough to necessitate a house-call from the Hose Doctor, but at last it’s all working. A five minute job has taken almost 2 days.

Except – there’s a pool of oil under the car when I stop. And it’s not ATF, it’s engine oil. Remember the hose which failed in Hail? Well, its neighbour has decided to leak in exactly the same place, which is a bit of a coincidence. Inspection shows it has also been cut on the top surface. I’m now convinced that someone sabotaged the car while it was in Hail. If only they’d known how crap our power steering was, they could have saved themselves the trouble…

By now I’m on first name terms with the guys at Advanced Technical and Engineering Services (ATES) in Al Quoz, so they make me up a replacement hose while I wait, and finally everything works.

But why, you might ask, am I doing all this myself? Because, dear reader, a certain VIP visitor has been promised a passenger ride in the Beast the next day!

Pump my Ride

The interweb is an amazing thing. Once you know what your problem is, there’s bound to be something out there to help you solve it. It would be more useful if it told you all that stuff before the problem occurred, but somehow that never happens. Which brings me to the question of power steering pumps, about which I now know enough to bore you senseless.

Looking back, I find that we’d already replaced the p/s pump once, because it wasn’t giving pressure. We then replaced it just before the rally for the same reason, but the pulley then wasn’t tight on the shaft. (Pressing the pulley onto the shaft, and expecting it to stay there, is one of those really naff American engineering ideas.) Then we replaced the pump again before day 2 and the pulley was welded onto the shaft, and even that didn’t last. Are you beginning to see a pattern here?

The reason for these repeated failures is now pretty clear. The p/s pump had a remote reservoir, connected to the pump by a flexible hose. The pressure side of the pump goes to the steering box, the return from there comes back to the tank, from which the pump is sucking fluid. And it sucks big-time. According to my new friends at KRC, this pipe should be able to withstand a vacuum of 28” Hg., and if it’s not, it will collapse under the suction of the pump – especially if there’s a bend in the pipe, which there is. And when that happens, the pump will fail – either the seals will fail, or the pump will stall, in which case something else will give – like the non-existent bond between the shaft and the pulley, for example. Apparently this is the biggest cause of p/s pump failure, but you can eliminate this potential weak spot by using a bolt-on reservoir.

A new GM p/s pump is Dh 1700, without a pulley or a reservoir. An after-market KRC pump with bolt on reservoir and splined pulley is only slightly more. Yes, 17 splines give the pulley something to actually grip onto, and a nut tightened to 46 lb/ft to make sure it damn well stays there. I like the sound of that. So I’ve given the plastic another good spanking and ordered a shiny new pump with all the toys, and eagerly await its arrival. The only downside of this arrangement is that a bolt-on reservoir tends to make the fluid run hotter, but since I will use a slightly larger 6.5” pulley, the pump will run slower and hopefully that won’t be too much of an issue.

No-one has been much help on the ARB front diff problem. I have the part number of the flange which I need to replace, but even appealing direct to ARB hasn’t produced any response. So I guess I’ll run with the standard front diff.

Last weekend I was down in Liwa to run through this years Day 4 route (basically last year’s day 3) for Abu Dhabi Desert Challenge, to check that no-one has built any new roads, fences, camel farms or other obstacles in our path. Turns out the only major issue is at the start, where last year’s seldom-used gatch track is now a major construction highway, so they need to change that bit. The worst bit of the route – and of the rally – is the section from Ghayathi Rd back to the Crescent Rd, about 30km of unadulterated hell. Driving it with no vehicle tracks to follow othe took us nearly 2 hours, during which the car wasn’t horizontal for more than about 5 seconds. One bowl follows another, and it’s as a soft as a very soft thing. And in another month’s time it’ll be even worse, and as hot as hell. At 355km, Day 4 looks like being a long, long day, and I foresee many cars being time-barred at PC4. Let’s hope we’re not one of them!

Hail Day 3

Once again we are up at sparrow-fart to unleash The Beast from its cage that is parc ferme. It's barely light and it's damned cold - a thermometer reads 3 degrees c as we head out through Hail for another 100km-plus liaison to the stage start. The steering is OK-ish - there's a wobble at certain speeds on the road and I suspect the steering damper is on its way out.

On the road, the engine water temperature never exceeds 50 - and that's without using the twin electric fans! So we seem for have overcome that problem at least. At the start we head off for a 212km stage, again new to us all. It promises some rough and rocky sections and I worry about tyre pressures. In the end I stick with 18/19 as the majority of the route is sand.

The route starts off with some wide plains where we can use some of the Beast's speed, but soon we're into twisty, bumpy tracks among small dunes, and areas of sharp stones hidden in the sand. We run wide at one point and I see a nasty rock just too late to avoid - the front right is punctures and the rim is damaged. We swing into action with the trolley jack and rattle gun. We're not exactly F1 standard, but our wheel change is pretty slick, and we head off to the viewing point just ahead where Sheila, Osama and Desert Knights service team await. Then I realise that the rear right is damaged too, and when we stop just past them to change it, they run up to assist in another wheel change. Oh, and the battery clamp has come loose and the battery is just lying there, and the wash-bottle is only held on by one bolt. So we ditch the wash-bottle, refit the battery, bin the damaged wheel and rim and continue. But carefully - because we've now run out of spare wheels.

The steering is a bit stiff but manageable - until we reach 144 kms, when it becomes very heavy. Oh no, not again! We've lost the belt - and the welded-on pulley. This time the pulley is gone for good and we're completely stuffed. We inform control through the Iritrak and wait for the sweep team to arrive.

Their brief is to tow us to the nearest tarmac - but the guys from Jeddah 4x4 go the extra mile - well, actually it's more like an extra 100km. They argue with the police, who finally allow them to tow us to the outskirts to Hail, where we get a recovery truck to deliver us back to Rally Control. (Towing through Hail in the rush hour would have been suicidal!)

So once again we take 8 hours of penalties. But we do have a finish - 29th place (i.e. last), which is better than 5 others who failed to start day 3! The closing ceremony is scheduled for 'sometime after 5pm' and we're determined to get the car over the finish ramp, come what may. It eventually kicks off at 9pm, by which time most of us have lost the will to live, having been hanging around since about 3pm. The engine runs - but with no water pump operating, I don't want it running for any more than a minute or two at a time.

Finally it's our turn, and we park it on the ramp to shake hands with Someone Important - probably the new head of SAMF. We accept our finishers' trophies and suddenly it's all over.

Not our greatest rally, really, but we've had fun. Richard has been an absolute star, learning rally nav and tripmeter-calibration on the job, getting stuck in with some awesome bush-engineering. What can I say about Sheila? She's been running the show, organising food and running around with Osama out on the stages, and out with various other strange men to find parts. Osama, Tariq and all the guys from Desert Knights get a special mention for all their help, as do Jeddah 4x4 Club, whose menbers form the sweep team. Matar Al Mansouri, who stayed late to help us fix our oil pipe, Saeed Al Hameli for the transport, Elie Semaan (the Clerk of the Course) who probably should have given us even more penalties than he did - and so many spectators and competitors who became our friends and saviours over the course of a week in Hail. Many, many thanks to you all - and yes, despite everything, we'll probably be back next year.

The results are here.

Another day, another disaster

We're up at the crack of dawn for our 100+km liaison to the start of Stage 2, which is completely different from last year's stage. A new railway blocks access to the part of the desert we used in the last two years, so it's terra incognita as far as most competitors are concerned.

We start fairly cautiously, aware of the possibility that we may have more belt-related problems. All goes well for the fisrt 10km - then, yes you guessed it, the belt comes off. And the power steering pulley. A short walk back into the stage and I retrieve both - but how to press the pulley back onto the shaft, to at least get us out of the desesrt? The Sweep Team come, look, and continue, and then the police arrive, look and hang around.

A plan evolves. I drain the p/s reservoir into a handy water bottle (the reservoir conveniently holds 500ml of ATF) and dismantle the pump from the block. Then we sandwich the pulley and the pump between the hydraulic jack and the rear tow-hitch and press it back together. This is not the standard workshop method and in fact knackers the pump (we find later), but we're pretty pleased with our bush engineering. We can't get the pulley on far enough to line up, but with the belt 2/3 on the puiley it's enough to get us out of the desert. We trundle back to the start, nursing the engine at 2200rpm, followed by our police escort.

Our journey back to Hail is slow and uneventful, and we divert to the Sinaiya to find a workshop to solve our problems. It's run by Khalid, and Arnold, a pony-tailed Filipino, is the foreman. They seem happy to stop whatever they are doing to help us out, Arnold sources a new pump and then beats the old pulley back into shape (yes, we knackered that too, and he couldn't find one the same). As well as pressing it back on, Arnold welds it to the shaft for good measure to prevent it slipping off again. We head back to rally control, just in time to put the car into parc ferme. Everyone is happy to see us and offers sympathy and encouragement.

Another 8 hours of penalties are added to our one hour from day 1, but we are assured a start on day 3. We're last (of course) but we're back in the race!

Mushkeela Kabir!

Oh dear. It was all going so well. We made it over the start ramp, shook hands with Someone Important, and shot off to the start of the Prologue for some more Waiting Around. Then suddenly, it was the turn of number 22 - us.

For the first 30 seconds the car went really well. Then I felt the awful weight on the steering wheel telling me that we had no power steering - i.e. the serpentine belt had come off. Since this meant we also had no alternator or water pump, it seemed wise to stop before the engine cooked itself, or the battery ran flat.

We got off the track, opened the bonnet and sure enough, the belt had gone - but the entire inside of the engine compartment was covered in oil. This doesn't usually happen when the belt goes and clearly Something Bad had happened. Anyway, we had a spare belt, nice spectators helped us fit it, and we set off again. 30 seconds later it happened again, accompanied by copious amounts of smoke. Opened the bonnet again, no belt again, but a small fire was just getting going on the left-hand headers, fueled by the oil which had been spread around. A quick squirt with the hand-held fire-extinguisher put paid to that, but we'd run out of belts. And oil. So we begged a tow off some other nice spectators and got dragged ignominiously into the service park. I was ready to throw in the towel.

It turned out we had two unrelated problems, which seem to have occured more or less simultaneously. The pulley on the power steer pump had moved out of line (away from the block) and the oil return line from the cooler to the pump had sprung a leak. Working feverishly against the clock in the gathering gloom and cold, we pulled off the damaged pipe and Richard blagged a lift from some other nice spectators to the local Sinaiya (car parts souk) where a new one was made up in record time. Meanwhile I pulled off the p/s pump, removed the spacers A2B had put behind it to get the alignment right, and by great good fortune the pulley now lined up correctly.

Sheila meanwhile was attending the Stage Briefing for Day 2 (which we should have been at) and collecting the Day 2 roadbook and the GPS unlock code.

Refitting the oil line proved to be an absolute bitch of a job, because by now it really was damned cold. But you would not believe how many people rallied round to help us. Finally we got it on, filled up with oil (thanks to the Desert Knights rally team) and started the engine. Several litres of oil which had soaked into the wrap of the headers gradually boiled off in clouds of white smoke, while we watched with the firex at the ready. Then I took it for a quick blat round the service park and left it there, just outside the parc ferme (which we should have been inside - but the organisers have let us off that one).

So what of the rally? Well, we'll be starting last (obviously) with a one hour penalty for not completing the prologue within limit time (30 mins). We have over 100km of road liaison to the start of the special stage, which we'll use as a shakedown - if we survive that without further disasters we'll try our luck in the stage.

The people of Hail have been our saviours. The guys who helped put the belt on (and then sought us out to return our tools!), the impromptu recovery crew, Abdullah and Abdullah, our fellow competitors and everyone else who got us through this nightmare - Shukraan Jazilan to you all! You are the best. Almost as good, in fact, as my noble co-driver Richard and Team Manager(ess) Sheila, who have been running around like mad things to get us back on track.

Now let's see what tomorrow will bring...

Quick postscript: the results are here.

Scrutineered

Yesterday we nailed into place all the mandatory equipment and stuck the stickers. Apparently we did an adequate job because we passed scrutineering without a hitch. Saudi TV were doing an outside broadcast from there, and decided that we were sufficiently newsworthy to interview.

Today we walked the prologue, which is basically the same as last year. Richard has made notes and we're agreed when and how much he has to communicate about upcoming points of high disaster potential. Sheila has made friends with Osama, who manages the Desert Lions race team, and who has offered to chauffeur her around the stages for the next two days. This does mean that she can't take a lot of spares and kit with her, but at least she'll get to each view point and the finish.

Now we're getting ready to depart the Jebalain for the ceremonial start and prologue, so I'll leave you with a couple of photos of The Beast.

"We could be heroes...

...just for one day".

But, as my knowledgeable co-driver has pointed out, this is a three day event. So maybe we should avoid the heroics.

Yesterday, we successfully negotiated the UAE/Saudi border without any of the dramas and delays which had attended out previous excursions. In fact we were through both in under half an hour, and arrived in Riyadh in mid afternoon. Today we were re-united with the race car, and settled into our 2-bed apartment at the Jebalain, before heading out to rally HQ at Maghwat for documentation. While waiting for that to start, we were given VIP treatment at the Traditional Souk, where vendors of camel accoutrements, crafts-people and food-stalls vied unsuccessfully for our business. These were indeed 'local shops for local people'.


Back at the Jebalain, we are in the presence of greatness. Nasser Al-Attiyeh's Dakar-winning Toureg shares the same carpark and breathes the same oxygen as my humble Patrol. We are not worthy. The only question appears to be the extent of his winning margin in this event.

Tomorrow we have to install the rally GPS, Iritrak and Sentinel, apply the rally stickers and do some final tidying up before scrutineering at 1330hrs.

Departure of the Beast

Yes, it's gone. Finally drove it onto the transporter at 6pm on Wednesday after a day of frantic activity, culminating in the last minute discovery that the main fire extinguisher had been fired (by whom and when, I know not) and therefore needed to be refilled and re-armed at a cost of Dh 1000. Ouch. So...I borrowed Jason's instead! I also discovered that I had two square-ish front wheels (courtesy of the DC2010 prang) but no-one had thought to mention this to me. Funnily enough, it drove much better after I'd replaced the wheels with some round-ish ones. Stickers were stuck (rather hurriedly, by that time the transporter was waiting for me), tools and gear were loaded into every nook and cranny of the race car and now it's gone. Should have taken a photo really, but I was too stressed to remember the camera!

Looks like we could be the only Khawajas (white-faces) to participate in the rally. That'll be fun! And it's confirmed that Nasser Al Attiyeh will be competing in the Dakar-winning Toureg, so he's odd-on favourite to spoil Yazeed Al Rajhi's hopes of a hat-trick in the Hail Rally.

Tomorrow at 0730 we head off, hoping to get through the border before prayer-time (1240) and as far as Riyadh for an overnight halt. We plan to reach Hail mid-afternoon Sunday - inchallah!

Stepping back from the edge

The Beast has spent the day in intensive care at the Al Quoz Hospital for Sick Race-Cars(a.k.a. A2B Garage).

The problem, they discovered, was not the rear diff but the front one. When it had been rebuilt after our 2009 DC disaster, it would appear that the bolts holding the ring-gear to the ARB diff flange were not Loctited in and/or correctly tightened. They chose yesterday to part company with the assembly, and their remains were in the diff housing. Fortunately, the only real damage is to the flange. Unfortunately, this is an ARB part and the ARB dealer here doesn't believe in keeping spares in stock, or even being able to tell you how much they might cost or when they might get here. (Their South African dealer is much more helpful, and will therefore be getting my business.)

However that doesn't solve the problem of having it working right now, so they've borrowed the front diff out of the old race car. This means we won't have a locking front diff lock for Hail, but I can live with that.

The really good news is that the engine temperature didn't get above 85c even in 2nd gear in the dunes - until one of the electric fans packed up, but that too has been fixed. There were a number of other trivial matters to be sorted, and they have been - so once again A2B have scored major points with me. Thanks to Gareth, Jason, Maynard and all the crew there, I was able to drive it back home tonight.

Other than that I've got the ATC carnet and Police permit for the car to visit the Magic Kingdom, and sent out a press release to anyone who might be interested - which will apparently appear in Thursday's Gulf News. All fans who would like their copies autographed should form an orderly queue...

Tomorrow is for cleaning, stickering, fitting shiny new wheels and tyres (same BFG 275/70R16s) and getting it onto the transporter in the evening.

Now, finally, I can believe we're actually going.

Living slightly over the edge

...staring into the abyss.

Got the car back last night, and spent till 1.00am doing stuff, like improving the jack mount and making the steering wheel point straight ahead when the wheels do. But the serpentine belt (which drives pretty much everything) was knackered so the first job this morning was to find a six-rib belt 2020mm long, how hard can that be? Well, it took all morning but eventually I returned triumphant to fit the belt and finally take the car out for a blat (oops, I mean shakedown). This was around 2.00pm.

All started well. The water temperature, even in some tricky 2nd-gear dunes, was getting only up to 85c and everything felt good. Then the 16" fan stopped working and the temp started to rise. I nursed it back out of the dunes and onto a gatch track - when suddenly the rear end made a very unhealthy noise and I ground to a halt. (That was the car's rear end, by the way, not mine. Just thought I should make that clear.) After some phone calls to Gareth, I decided to remove the rear prop shaft (in the middle of a sandstorm) and see if that made any difference, which it didn't. 'It's the diff', says Gareth. Anyway, to cut a very long story short, Gareth and Katrina dragged my trailer out into the desert behind his F150 and, after a few dramas, stucks, and a shredded trailer tyre, got the Patrol back to the blacktop where it was picked up by a recovery truck about 8.00pm this evening.

So now we only have to:
- sort out the diff
- sort out the fan
- make various lights and the firex system work
- weld a 24mm 1/2" drive socket onto the nut which holds the jack down (to create my patented quick-release mechanism, using the rattle-gun)
- apply all the stickers (did I mention they arrived - and half of them were wrong? Don't ask..)
- get the carnet from ATC and the police permission for the car to go to Saudi
- pay Saeed for the transport
- change the wheels and tyres
- fix a leaking spare tyre
- fix the new air tank valve which leaks
- and shakedown the finished product? Yeah, right...in my dreams.

By my calculations we (i.e. mainly Gareth) have about 40 hours to achieve these miracles. So no pressure, then.

On the plus side, Mark and Fadi have given up the unequal struggle with Saudi beaurocracy to get visas, and will now concentrate on the DC. So that's two cars we won't be behind in Hail.

The other day, I put out a call to Al Thika Packaging's service engineers, asking if anyone was interested in joining us for the DC adventure. This involves long hours of boredom whilst camping in the desert, interspersed with periods of panic-stricken activity which can go on all night, whilst being sand-blasted and periodically deafened by the testing of other competitors' vehicles. So far only one engineer has decided that he's sufficiently desperate to escape from fixing packaging machines for a week to volunteer. So - welcome to the crew, Fred Santiago! Fred normally services our customers' machines in Oman, and clearly has no idea whatsoever what he's let himself in for. Maybe I should keep it that way...

Stay tuned for the next nail-biting instalment of 'The Race to Hail'.